Seriously, am I the only person in this world that feels like they are playing a role in someone else's life more than their own? I'm hoping that you're saying no because it is kind of sad and pathetic. This is, however, how I feel 90% of the time. Oh, don't pity me. I'll make it...I think. I just hate the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that I feel when I look around and think "where am I?" "how did I get here?" Seriously, I'm almost THIRTY, I should have a steady track to run my train on and yet I'm still uncertain about what I want out of life. I did the marriage thing...it's kind of depressing, really. I have two kids that I adore, but they drive me insane. Most of the time (at least, lately) I feel inclined to assume the fetal position and murmer incoherently.
Really, I envy old cowboys....like to the point of wanting to be one. Yes, they have to work hard, but hard work never killed anyone - that I know of. But here's why I envy and admire old cowboys so much: 1)they know how to keep their thoughts to themselves and no one expects them to have deep conversations, 2)they have their lives figured out, 3)they generally have a nice truck because they worked hard to get it, 4)they get to get up every morning and put on jeans, boots and a cowboy hat, 5)they don't care what people think about them, 6)they are respected, and most importantly 7)they usually have a loyal sidekick dog.
Later, dudes.
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