Seriously, am I the only person in this world that feels like they are playing a role in someone else's life more than their own? I'm hoping that you're saying no because it is kind of sad and pathetic. This is, however, how I feel 90% of the time. Oh, don't pity me. I'll make it...I think. I just hate the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that I feel when I look around and think "where am I?" "how did I get here?" Seriously, I'm almost THIRTY, I should have a steady track to run my train on and yet I'm still uncertain about what I want out of life. I did the marriage thing...it's kind of depressing, really. I have two kids that I adore, but they drive me insane. Most of the time (at least, lately) I feel inclined to assume the fetal position and murmer incoherently.
Really, I envy old cowboys....like to the point of wanting to be one. Yes, they have to work hard, but hard work never killed anyone - that I know of. But here's why I envy and admire old cowboys so much: 1)they know how to keep their thoughts to themselves and no one expects them to have deep conversations, 2)they have their lives figured out, 3)they generally have a nice truck because they worked hard to get it, 4)they get to get up every morning and put on jeans, boots and a cowboy hat, 5)they don't care what people think about them, 6)they are respected, and most importantly 7)they usually have a loyal sidekick dog.
Later, dudes.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Take 2 - "Friends"
I think I'll start off talking about friends. You know, those people that you have in your life. The people that you call when you need someone to talk to or hang out with. Yeah, I know what you're thinking....I don't think they exist either. Seriously, once you get married and have kids, who has time for friends anyway? It's a pretty cruel scenario - once you get to the age that you actually need friends, you don't have time for them. I mean, really, between working, picking up the kids, cooking dinner, cleaning house, bath time, etc., etc., who has time to even think let alone have friend time?!?!
Of course, if you're like me, then you know that those people that you do call friends aren't really "friends" anyway. I have many acquaintances and I'm not opposed to sitting in a room watching a movie or eating dinner with any of them. However, if my house was on fire, I wouldn't call them to cry about it. We're just not like that. When I do on occasion open up to any of these people, I end up regretting it for at least the next five years. They forget the conversation ten minutes after it happened and I replay it word for word in my head for the rest of my life. Yeah, it's pathetic. Who are you to judge?
Have you ever had those "friends" that you regret - like forever? I can't stand the people in my life that try to push me down to make themselves better saying stupid stuff like "look at the movie she's watching, she must be really bored." That's dumb. Who cares what movie I'm watching, but me? My favorite though is that "friend" that has every (and I mean EVERY) excuse in the book. I am thoroughly convinced that she has an "excuse sheet" that she uses for getting out of everything. "What? You want me to come over for dinner? Hang on a sec, I can't beeeecccaaauuuusseee...I have to tie my shoe. Sorry." Makes you want to reach through the phone and slap her. Then slap yourself for trying....again. A flat out "no, thanks" is quite sufficient. Don't waste your time...or mine.
I suppose people are capable of having true blue friends that they turn to for everything. If you do then good for you. My husband says I don't have friends because I'm too hard on people. Maybe this is true. I'm just not really a touchy feely kind of person. I don't really like to share my feelings, but sometimes I need to...and then I regret it forever. I'm not really comfortable around most people and I find it works well enough to just stay in the shadows (figuratively speaking).
Enough about this for now. I'm going to start another post about something different.
Later, dudes.
Of course, if you're like me, then you know that those people that you do call friends aren't really "friends" anyway. I have many acquaintances and I'm not opposed to sitting in a room watching a movie or eating dinner with any of them. However, if my house was on fire, I wouldn't call them to cry about it. We're just not like that. When I do on occasion open up to any of these people, I end up regretting it for at least the next five years. They forget the conversation ten minutes after it happened and I replay it word for word in my head for the rest of my life. Yeah, it's pathetic. Who are you to judge?
Have you ever had those "friends" that you regret - like forever? I can't stand the people in my life that try to push me down to make themselves better saying stupid stuff like "look at the movie she's watching, she must be really bored." That's dumb. Who cares what movie I'm watching, but me? My favorite though is that "friend" that has every (and I mean EVERY) excuse in the book. I am thoroughly convinced that she has an "excuse sheet" that she uses for getting out of everything. "What? You want me to come over for dinner? Hang on a sec, I can't beeeecccaaauuuusseee...I have to tie my shoe. Sorry." Makes you want to reach through the phone and slap her. Then slap yourself for trying....again. A flat out "no, thanks" is quite sufficient. Don't waste your time...or mine.
I suppose people are capable of having true blue friends that they turn to for everything. If you do then good for you. My husband says I don't have friends because I'm too hard on people. Maybe this is true. I'm just not really a touchy feely kind of person. I don't really like to share my feelings, but sometimes I need to...and then I regret it forever. I'm not really comfortable around most people and I find it works well enough to just stay in the shadows (figuratively speaking).
Enough about this for now. I'm going to start another post about something different.
Later, dudes.
Take 1
So, I decided to start this blog because I have so much useless information, rants, raves, jokes, miscellaneous junk floating around in this head and I thought an outlet may be a good solution.
I don't know that there will be any hard-core followers to this blog, but I imagine the people that stumble across it will get a good chuckle now and then anyway. Of course, there may be those though that end up thinking I need to be commited (to a mental hospital) and they may be right too. I wonder if there are quiet rooms with room service....hmmm.
Well, I have to get ready for work now, but I'll try to post a rant in a little while. Keep your eyes open, this ride is gonna get good.
Later, dudes.
I don't know that there will be any hard-core followers to this blog, but I imagine the people that stumble across it will get a good chuckle now and then anyway. Of course, there may be those though that end up thinking I need to be commited (to a mental hospital) and they may be right too. I wonder if there are quiet rooms with room service....hmmm.
Well, I have to get ready for work now, but I'll try to post a rant in a little while. Keep your eyes open, this ride is gonna get good.
Later, dudes.
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