I think a little crazy may run in my family, but I find more and more that my crazy really just comes from within. I make myself crazy. I tend to linger entirely too long on the things that bug me causing them to take complete control of my mind. Yes, I know...not really a good thing. I am getting better at blocking these thoughts and therefore avoiding the cry-fest that usually comes along with it. I said better, though, not healed. I can still go from super-happy to super-sad faster than a Lamborghini can hit 60. No, in case you were wondering, I'm not bragging and it doesn't make me happy. I wish I could change it completely. I wish I could be more like my sister who, although she may get upset from time to time, wouldn't know depression if it slapped her in the face. She's never had to deal with it. Or my brother, who reminds me of a duck. Things just roll off his back like he's covered in a layer of oily feathers. He gets upset from time to time too, but then somehow instead of dwelling he just lets it go. I wish I could be one of those people that finds the bright side to the darkest hole. I'm not. I don't know that I ever will be. But, I am trying to ignore the sources of the drama and for now I suppose that's the only choice I have. Maybe someday I'll find one of those aforementioned true-blue friends, become all touchy-feely about my feelings and find that all is right with the world. Who knows?
Later, dudes
